Today is the day..

After spending what seemed like hours organizing medications, test, etc. I start my IVF medications today. I'll take Follistim 375U each night between 5pm and 10pm. I work 4pm to 4am for the next three days, so I will take each of them in the locker room. I just hope I feel well enough to keep on working. YOu really can't be and ER nurse running low. I haven't found a lot of consistency about how people feel on them, so we shall see.

On Monday morning I have to stay awake after work and have my first ultrasound at 0730. Then I'll drive another 15 minutes to have lab work drawn. I could have it at the same spot as my ultrasound, but I chose not to. The OB/GYN I use generally does all of this in conjunction with Boston IVF. They didn't have an ultrasound time available Monday, so I am going to another facility. However, they would like all of my lab work performed by the same lab, so I am going to stick with my OB.

Anyway, that is the plan. Stims for 3 days, labs and ultrasound, and then more medications. It seems surreal that this is happening. Im spending the time updating the house to make the time pass. I set up some raised bed gardens yesterday. Well I tried. We had hurricane force winds, and hale, so I gave up. I decided to paint the entry instead. Well Im off to finish my chores. G'day!

I want off this rollercoaster

It has been so long since my last post, as I think I had given up on the IVF route. The expense is so much to even begin to imagine, and our credit is tapped at the moment. We bought our house in July, and that doubled our housing payment. DH is working on his master's degree, and should finish in December. He is hopeful for a higher paying job. I have picked up a per diem nursing job giving flu shots. I can pick up time when I want to without any requirements on working weekends or holidays. I plan to use that to buy our Christmas gifts, and continue paying off our stupid debt so we can finance part of our IVF.

I had really written the IVF off. Depressing as it was I was convinced that we were just bound to not have children. I had worked hard to finance it, but it seemed like I was the only one doing it. I would work overtime, only to have DH order new computer parts, or go out to lunch everyday. Our debt only grew. Then, DH interviewed and got offered a job through the state, which had insurance that covered IVF, up to 20000.00. HOW EXCITING! I let my imagination get away with me. We told our parents, I started planning nurseries....oh what a dangerous gig that was.

I now work as an Emergency nurse in a level 1 trauma center! My dream job. The hours are 4pm to 4am three days per week. Sounds bad, but the hours work. Someday when I have nothing else to say, I will tell you why they work, but for now, I digress. I woke up after working an overnight to have my DH tell me he thought that the job with the state would be too psychologically damaging for him to take. I think I lost my mind. I was so irrational I didn't even know who I was. He had a whole month between interviewing and getting the offer to think about what he would be doing, and he decides NOW! Now that I have gotten my hopes up, reawakened my dreams...I realize that he needs to do what he needs to do to remain a whole person. I was just crushed. It's been a few days, and after coffee with a great friend, I feel like a reasonable person again.

So, we have a new plan. We hope to begin our actual IVF cycle the first of the year. We have an appointment on October 2ND in Waltham for consultation for PESA with the urologist, and then a consult on October 8th locally for Boston IVF. We will be monitored here in Maine, but have the egg retrieval and transfer done in Boston. I am hopeful that this will work out. I am committed to paying off our debt though, just in case the financing plan we have now doesn't work out. Our plan is to use our flex spending, as our roll over dates are different. It sounds like the IVF center is willing and able to help us work the details out.

Well, I am off for now. Also, I know many of you don't like the ads in the blog, but let's face it. IVF is expensive, and anytime you click on the ads we make a little money. Think of it as a donation :)

Today begins our IVF journey.

To quote a much overused quote...what a long strange trip it's been. After my husbands vasectomy reversal in January, we tried each cycle to have a baby. Each month we discovered that we were unsuccessful. Finally we opted to have a semen analysis done in order to see what we were up against.

We did the sample at home, following the strict guidelines set up and drove it to the lab on a Thursday. By Monday, my OB/GYN called to see if our surgeon gave us the results. I told her no, and she asked if I wanted her to give them to me. I agreed, and she told me there were no swimmers. Not 1. This is not good. I really wasn't anticipating this.

We did finally hear from the surgeon with the same news, and he wanted to meet with us. We put that off though. I think the shock of the whole thing was enough for now. We did finally decide to see him, and he determined that after seeing how my husbands vasectomy was done to begin with, he is not sure that he would be able to successfully redo it. He refered us for IVF.

Today we had our appointment with The Center for Reproductive Technology. We arrived at 1:05...late as usual for me. They took my weight, and blood pressure, and we sat in a consultation room. The doctor talked to us about our medical histories and our chances. Since I am a relatively young healthy female, and my husband is almost as healthy, we have a 90% chance of IVF success. A 20% chance of twins which has my husband very excited.

We then met with the nurse, who really told us nothing. We did meet with the financial manager. She was great. She outlined the cost. We are looking at around 15000.00 for cycle 1 with everything included. I am not going to get my hopes up for a successful round 1, however; we will freeze any excess embryo's for future use, which will save a lot of money in the long run.

Oddly enough, this all cost us 450.00....

Words are expensive :)

Good night...
Pj

The wonder of it all...

It's been a while since I've posted, but truly not much has changed. We are still trying to have a baby. Though I went to a preconception visit with a highly recommended OB/GYN today, just truly a meet and greet. She did a standard information gathering and a quick internal and declared me perfect. That is at least one good thing. Now we are going to get a semen analysis and see how the swimmers are. If there are issues with them, we will end up with intrauterine insemination. I am hoping that we can just keep trying the natural way. I have started taking FertilAid and Fertile CM, I will let you all know how it goes. Oh, and I found that in cycles that I work the night shift, it adds two days to each portion of my cycle. Weird huh?

I am still hoping to take ACLS in the next few months. If I can get that, I might pick up some per diem ER work at a critical access hospital, and get myself some ER experience while waiting. I really want to work ER in a level 1 trauma center. We have had so many nurses leave, that there is a lot of extra time available. So, I am working a lot lately. Hopefully it will slow down, but the money is good while we are trying to buy a house.

I am starting a running program. Attempting to get into better shape. I have let go of the scale, that damn thing never moves. Now I just want my clothes to fit better and maybe to feel comfortable in some summer clothes. We shall see.

I suppose that is all for now. Not too much exciting new.

Disappointment

Another cycle has come to an end, and we are not pregnant yet. Being fully aware that in any given month the average couple has a 25-30% chance of conceiving is not a comfort. I really need to stop stressing out about this, and let it happen if it is going to, but that is so much easier said than done.

I worry because I know that the odds are stacked against us after paying $10,000.00 for a vasectomy reversal. I worry that it just won't happen. i think if it doesn't happen, we will still have a lot of fun adventuring, but I will have to figure out how to let go of this.

In other news, my dog gets his stitches out on Saturday, and I believe they will have to go right back in. The first set I took out after 10 days, and the wound was still open. It was restitched, and in my professional opinion it hasn't closed, but we shall see. It's in such a horrible spot (that flap of sking that kind of hangs between the back leg and the belly). It's such a high action, low blood flow spot. We shall see.

I am hoping to be able to take my ACLS cerfitication in the next few months and begin really preparing myself to move into the Emergency Room from the Surgical Floor. I wish that there was an ACNP program offered online. The only one requires you to work in certain states, and I cant commit to that until I know what is going on with us for the next few years.

I am starting to feel like a pessimist, which I am not. So on the bright side, with a lot of hard work and research, I have been successful in raising our credit scores by 100 points EACH in less than 4 months. It is amazing. I would highly recommend www.creditboards.org. The people are so helpful, and there is some invaluable advice.

Well, I must sign off. My husband rode his bike to work, and blew his tire. So I have to go get him.

Babydust to all who are trying, and keep hugging your bullies :)