I want off this rollercoaster

It has been so long since my last post, as I think I had given up on the IVF route. The expense is so much to even begin to imagine, and our credit is tapped at the moment. We bought our house in July, and that doubled our housing payment. DH is working on his master's degree, and should finish in December. He is hopeful for a higher paying job. I have picked up a per diem nursing job giving flu shots. I can pick up time when I want to without any requirements on working weekends or holidays. I plan to use that to buy our Christmas gifts, and continue paying off our stupid debt so we can finance part of our IVF.

I had really written the IVF off. Depressing as it was I was convinced that we were just bound to not have children. I had worked hard to finance it, but it seemed like I was the only one doing it. I would work overtime, only to have DH order new computer parts, or go out to lunch everyday. Our debt only grew. Then, DH interviewed and got offered a job through the state, which had insurance that covered IVF, up to 20000.00. HOW EXCITING! I let my imagination get away with me. We told our parents, I started planning nurseries....oh what a dangerous gig that was.

I now work as an Emergency nurse in a level 1 trauma center! My dream job. The hours are 4pm to 4am three days per week. Sounds bad, but the hours work. Someday when I have nothing else to say, I will tell you why they work, but for now, I digress. I woke up after working an overnight to have my DH tell me he thought that the job with the state would be too psychologically damaging for him to take. I think I lost my mind. I was so irrational I didn't even know who I was. He had a whole month between interviewing and getting the offer to think about what he would be doing, and he decides NOW! Now that I have gotten my hopes up, reawakened my dreams...I realize that he needs to do what he needs to do to remain a whole person. I was just crushed. It's been a few days, and after coffee with a great friend, I feel like a reasonable person again.

So, we have a new plan. We hope to begin our actual IVF cycle the first of the year. We have an appointment on October 2ND in Waltham for consultation for PESA with the urologist, and then a consult on October 8th locally for Boston IVF. We will be monitored here in Maine, but have the egg retrieval and transfer done in Boston. I am hopeful that this will work out. I am committed to paying off our debt though, just in case the financing plan we have now doesn't work out. Our plan is to use our flex spending, as our roll over dates are different. It sounds like the IVF center is willing and able to help us work the details out.

Well, I am off for now. Also, I know many of you don't like the ads in the blog, but let's face it. IVF is expensive, and anytime you click on the ads we make a little money. Think of it as a donation :)